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Hamburger Boy

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Why i wont let people touch me

No child has ever left the company of Hamburger Boy unharmed.

The man, the myth, the legend, the boy.


The nature of the Hamburger Boy is shrouded in mystery. Some say the creature is a completely undocumented species, an alternate branch of evolution that man may have taken from apes, with others believing it to be a celestial being sent from the heavens to deliver mankind from sin. Skeptics however say that the Hamburger Boy may just be some guy in a hamburger suit, or a badger.


What everyone can agree on however, is that Hamburger Boy, is a hero.


Background
And this is me when I was sixteen

A rare photograph of the Hamburger Boy not depicting it engulfed in a frenzied rage.


Appearing in the immediate area surrounding the Honker Burger each summer, the Hamburger Boy has been sighted each year without fail since the 1950s. The creature has been noted for its fondness for children, and its penchant for making cries that sound similar to Honker Burger advertising slogans. Parents are often advised not to leave their children within the company of the Hamburger Boy, regardless of how delightful he may appear. Its aroma has been described as "like a bag of pennies covered in salt, similar to Mr. Dink's shed".




'Bad Burger Done Good'
Good burger

I guess you could call that a quarter-FLOUNDER with cheese! If you're not laughing then you didn't get it.


During the summer of 1993, a freak slapstick accident at Lucky Duck lake resulted in a number of youths capsizing their kayaks and almost drowning in an amusing fashion. Unfortunatly for funny newspaper headlines enthusiasts, the headlines the next day did not read "KIDS DROWN, TOWN FROWNS", as a creature believed to be the Hamburger Boy swam out into the middle of the lake and rescued the stricken children. Described by onlookers as a "hamburger-like person", skeptics were still quick to dismiss the sightings as a particularly ugly lifeboat, or a badger. After the heroic deed, the hamburger boy was said to be scene fleeing the seen grasping a pair of boy's shorts, perhaps as a victory trophy of sorts. A 1996 feature film starring Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell based on the incident was produced, titled "Good Burger", though the film takes heavy liberties with its portrayel of the events of that day.


Voyeurburger

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