|Interests||beetball, ballet, bowling, weightlifting, baseball, basketball|
|Best Friends||Connie Benge, Beebe Bluff, Doug Funnie|
Patricia "Patti" Mayonnaise is the secret love of Doug and a recurring character in the series.
Patti is a native of Bluffington, and lives with her wheelchair-bound father Chad Mayonnaise. Patti's mother died in a car accident when she was 3. Despite these events she continues to hold a positive attitude on life and does her best to enjoy life with her friends and family. Not only is she an ace student, she's also an accomplished athlete and a pro at the beet-centric sport Beetball.
Relationship with DougEdit
Doug has a clear crush on Patti, and many of his Smash Adams and Quailman daydreams involve her as the damsel in distress. In the episode "Doug's Dinner Date," Patti asks Doug out to the movies and afterwards, the two consider the idea that it was a date, but try to laugh it off. They almost kissed, but Patti decided it was time for her to go to bed.
"We're having your favorite. Liver and Onions!"
"Doug Funnie, you're terrible."
- While Patti is great at sports, she cannot cook.
- Patti's mother died a long time ago, this is one of the 3 Nickelodeon shows where a major character's mother has already died. The other two are Otto & Reggie from Rocket Power and Chuckie from Rugrats.